I am ashamed to admit how much time I used to spend thinking about home design. What color schemes to employ, what style furniture, how all the elements would come together room by room… Why was this occupying so much space in my brain and why did I care so much? Yes, my home was a form of self-expression, curated with objects that felt like “me”, but it was more than that. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this obsession was my inner child’s way of seeking sanctuary and safety.
For reference, although I logically had no current reason to question my safety, my inner child wouldn’t allow me to let my guard down. Frequent intense outbursts amongst my parents kept me on high alert in childhood. As an adult, I was a person who could not sit still. Even when seated, my leg would vigorously wag back and forth unconsciously. I would be startled by a dog barking or a phone ringing. I was always finding tasks “to do” around the house to keep me busy - so much so that my husband often called me a fish in a fishbowl. And even decades later now in my own home, unfinished rooms left me feeling antsy and unsettled.
Maybe it was the somatic therapy I started. Maybe it was the meditation or the “parts” work from the book No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz. But I know for sure that the more I surrounded myself with objects, patterns and color combinations I adored, the more calm I felt. These seemingly superfluous decor items served a purposeful role with lasting effects I could feel at my core. My thoughts raced less and I found myself relaxing for more extended periods of time.
Turns out, it’s an actual thing. Psychology uses the term Neuroaesthetics to credit the use of interior design elements to create safety within our nervous systems. This can be achieved through color, lighting, organization (think less clutter), furniture arrangement, and you guessed it - art. Biophilic design incorporates earthy elements like plants and natural materials to help ground us. Which is why the highly visible zen garden in our backyard can literally lower our heart rate. We can all think of interiors we’ve experienced that felt cold, as well as ones that felt inviting and soothing. When you break down the individual elements of those spaces, you can extract ways in which you can bring those same characteristics into your own home. Every piece has its own energetics and evokes a certain feeling. Finding out there was an actual psychological connection on this helped me better understand myself - and to better curate our home. So the next time you shop for something to incorporate into your home environment, pay attention to how it makes you feel. And I hope you find yourself surrendering into your own personal sanctuary.